We'll get her when she comes back in..... She's not coming back...

Well I am and I did.... but I couldn't resist using a line from the movie Point Break as my title of this post as I write about my first encounters with surfing, in Torquay, next door neighbour to the famous Bells beach that plays a starring role in the film, the killer waves that Patrick Swayze chooses to make his last. Well my experience wasn't that dramatic although there was slight trepidation as these first attempts were part of one of my New Year Resolutions; To tackle fear, and for me, this came in the form of salty waves crashing on the shore.

So I have booked myself into a lesson with Go Ride a Wave and three shabby looking blokes, dark skinned from the sun, roughened by years of salt and blonded by years sun bleach were going to teach me. These dudes, all with moppy haircuts of medium length, all look like they can or are growing a mean beard, but the 35 year old looking fellas turned out to be 19 and 20 year old babies! God I am putting my life into the hands of lads!

But they were nothing short of spectacular in teaching the group of 19 to tackle the big waves to us, small waves to them. All of us looking nothing short of looney, as the 19 of us act out our surfing moves on the sand. Very precise and direct instructions, a couple a bad jokes later and we were ready (really??) for the real thing.

I realised that this was possibly one of the best things to tackle if one is tackling fear for all kinds of life issues. You see what we do is before we have even put a toe into the situation we have played the outcomes in our heads already and pronounced our demise before it's even begun, then our bodies, our selves have already failed us and will be hit one after the other by crashing tides. We go in scared, we get treated scared, they can already sense it and they win. Shy back and you get hit. But out there in the waves I realised I needed to be brave, to charge, and that's what I did, I charged, I went in there head on, silently told them to give me what they had and I swear I wasn't being knocked around as much. Each wave I hit made me feel more and more empowered (wow this wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be this - actually this playful tussling with the rolling waves is actually..... wait for it..... fun).

Then there comes trust, an openness you need to work with whatever comes to take you along the wave. You wait patiently, you need to, using the time to study the form of the waves, your position, you are learning from the movements of the wave and dancing in time with rolling motions you have found yourself in. A wave comes in, the shape of it, the curve, the rise - all of this tells you this could be the one to ride in on. You paddle and do your best and wait for it to hit the board, to take you. When it does this is the point where you feel no control, possibly the hardest thing humans try to cope with - a lack of control. Fight it and you will fall off the back and never know what could have been or if you are too far into it you may end up dumped. But if you go with, open up to the possibilities that could be, let it do it's job and you do yours, it is the most exhilarating, free feeling I have possibly ever experienced. I felt lighter, dreamy, excited... happy.

And I got up... well I got to my feet and had enough time to scream "Oh my god I'm standing on a" before I quickly fell off again onto my bottom and into the water - the cool liquid covering me like a watery doona. But I didn't lose that feeling of exhilaration, falling off hadn't hurt me, it hadn't killed me , I got up, in fact I learnt something, I now had experience to try again, I had the fire of possibility lit up in my belly and I wanted to do it again - feel that freedom. It may not have been that wave, it may not be the next, but one of those waves I was going to carve up to the end, all I had to do was try.

YEW!